Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Do you ever miss Jesus?

Do you ever just feel homesick for Him?  Kelsey and I have been packing all day and sorting through our stuff for a garage sale...He's in bed now and Im sitting in our packed up living room just marveling at the grace and mercy of Jesus.  It's been a weird past couple of weeks...haven't had youth girls in 2 Wednesdays (I miss yall so much) due to snowy weather. I've been very preoccupied with the move from our house, not so much productively but mentally.  I've done my normal routine of reading the Word and reading my books and even praying but I've just been missing Jesus...ya know missing his presence.  I told Kelsey before he went to sleep that I was feeling weird and just felt disconnected from the Vine....withering spiritually and as soon as I confessed that I felt the Lord calling. I came into the living room and got on my knees and poured out my confessions and told Jesus I am completely dependent on His grace even to have a relationship with Him. I asked for eyes to see and ears to hear, that he would lift the fog and fill me with the Holy Spirit as I emptied myself of self and flesh. And before even a minute passed Faithful and True was  pouring His love and presence on me....how does He do it...I'm just overwhelmed with gratitude and emotion thinking of his grace on me. His nearness truly is to us our good.  As I opened my eyes and looked up at the empty walls and moving boxes I was overtaken by His goodness...His hands are all over our lives...He's answering long lifted prayers of my heart. The reality of all Christ is to us and offers us is more than our minds can fully grasp but by His grace he gives us glimpses and they knock us off our feet.   Ya know that song "I can only Imagine"...overplayed and over sung I know, but I think about the part that talks about how we will react when we are finally fully in His presence..."Surrounded by your glory what will my heart feel? Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still? Will I stand in your presence or to knees will I fall? Will I sing Hallelujah or will I be able to speak at all?"  Well if how I react to his Presence on earth is a glimpse of heaven then I'll be on my knees speechless for sure! How about you...how do you react in His glorious Presence?

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